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Subtle Art is a self-help book that takes a completely different approach to personal development. The very essence of the book revolves around the fact that life is not about escaping problems. Instead, it’s about finding better problems for yourself. In addition, the book also emphasizes that one should not pay attention or give importance to adversities, imperfections, events or instances that are not important.
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So the subtle art of not giving anything away is to accept all the imperfections in your life and choose not to be affected by all the noise that surrounds you.
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That doesn’t mean you have to avoid failure entirely. Instead, it means choosing better problems and learning to deal with life’s setbacks.
This article covers some of the best Mark Manson quotes collected by our editors for your daily motivation. These are quotes from The Subtle Art of Not Giving AF that will give you a glimpse of what is covered in the book and get you moving forward in life.
These quotes talk about the value of pain or suffering, the pleasure principle, the importance of failure in life, and the importance of saying no.
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So let’s take a look at the best subtle art of not giving AF quotes to inspire you not to be affected by unnecessary noise.
Self-improvement and success often go together, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same thing. Positive expectations
Conventional life advice—all the positive, happy self-help stuff we hear all the time—actually focuses on what you’re missing.
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Fixating on the positive – on what is better, what is superior – only reminds us again and again of what we are not, of what we lack, of what we should be but aren’t I was.
If you dream about something all the time, then you reinforce the same unconscious reality over and over again: that you are not that.
Shit is bad for your sanity. It makes you get too attached to the superficial and fake, to devote your life to chasing a mirage of happiness and fulfillment.
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The key to a good life is not to give two bucks for more; he doesn’t care about less, he only cares about what is true, immediate and important.
The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, accepting negative experience is itself a positive experience.
The more you desperately want to be rich, the poorer and less worthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make.
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The more you desperately want to be sexier and wanted, the uglier you look, regardless of your actual physical appearance.
The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the more alone and fearful you become, regardless of those around you.
The more you want to be spiritually enlightened, the more self-centered and shallow you try to get there.
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Everything worthwhile in life is achieved by overcoming the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, avoid it, cancel it out, or silence it only returns.
Avoiding suffering is a form of suffering. Avoiding fighting is fighting. Denial of failure is failure.
Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and pulling it out is not only impossible, but destructive: trying to pull it out unleashes everything else with it.
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Not giving a damn means facing the most challenging and difficult challenges in life and still taking action.
You can’t be an important and transformative presence to some people without also being a joke and an embarrassment to others.
The point is not to run away from shit, but to find the shit you like to deal with.
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In order to not care about adversity, you must first care about something more important than adversity.
The idea of not giving a fuck is a simple way to reorient our life expectations and choose what is important and what is not.
We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s favorite agent for inspiring change.
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Don’t expect a problem-free life. There is no such thing. Instead, look forward to a life full of good problems.
If you avoid your problems or feel that you have no problems, then you will feel unhappy. Feeling like you have problems you can’t solve will also make your life miserable.
The secret is in solving problems, not not having problems in the first place.
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To be happy we need something to work on. Happiness is therefore a form of action; it is an activity, not something that is passively given to you.
Victims seek to blame others for their problems or blame external circumstances. This may make them feel better in the short term, but it leads to a life of anger, helplessness and despair.
If you feel bad, it’s because your brain is telling you that there is an unresolved or unsolved problem.
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Negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, it’s because you should do something. Positive emotions, on the other hand, are the rewards for taking appropriate action.
Joy does not spring from the earth like daisies and rainbows. Real, serious, lifelong fulfillment and meaning must be earned by choosing and managing our struggles.
Teaching people to think they are exceptional and feel good about themselves no matter what does not lead to a population full of Bill Gates and Martin Luther Kings.
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The true and accurate measure of a person’s self-esteem is how people feel about their negative aspects.
The problem with the law is that it makes people need to feel good about themselves all the time, even at the expense of those around them.
Entitled people see every occurrence in their lives as an affirmation or a threat to their own greatness.
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The true measure of self-esteem is not how a person feels about their positive experiences, but rather how they feel about their negative experiences.
Because a person cannot deal with his problems, no matter how good he feels about himself, he is weak.
A person who has really high self-esteem is able to honestly look at the negative parts of his character.
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Entitled people, because they are unable to openly and honestly acknowledge their problems, cannot improve their lives in a lasting or meaningful way.
The deeper the pain, the more powerless we feel over our problems and the more enacting we adopt to compensate for those problems.
Often this realization—that you and your problems are not privileged in their severity and pain—is the first and most important step in solving the problem.
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People who become great at something become great because they understand that they are no longer great—they are mediocre, they are average—and that they could be very good.
Knowing and accepting your own worldly existence will truly free you to achieve what you truly want to achieve without judgment or high expectations.
If suffering is inevitable, if our problems in life are inevitable, then the question we must ask is not “how do I stop suffering?” But, “why do I suffer, for what purpose?”.
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Self-awareness is like an onion. There are multiple layers, and the more you peel them back, the more likely you are to start crying at inopportune times.
Our values determine the nature of our problems, and the nature of our problems determine the quality of our lives.
The values are the basis of everything we are and do. If what we value is worthless, if what we consider success or failure is poorly chosen, then everything based on those values—thoughts, emotions, everyday feelings—will be inappropriate.
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Everything we think and feel about a situation ultimately comes down to how valuable we perceive it to be.
People’s perceptions and feelings may change, but the underlying values and the metrics by which those values are accessed remain the same. This is not real progress. This is just another way to get higher.
What is objectively objective about your situation is not as important as how you come to see the situation, how you choose to measure and evaluate it.
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We can control what our problems mean by how we choose to think about them, by what standard we choose to measure them.
If you want to change the way you look at your problems, you have to change what you value and how you measure failure or success.
Pleasure is the most superficial form of satisfaction with life, and therefore the easiest to obtain and the easiest to lose.
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